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aspiring18
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Name: Sarah-Ilona
Birthday: 7/28/1984
Gender: Female
Interests: Opera, classical, swing, jazz, ska, goth, and grudge music. I'm training to be an opera singer and hope to live in Europe. Nowhere in particullar, everywhere will do.
Expertise: I'm sorry to report that I am of the opinion that one should know either everything or nothing. Which do you know?
I know nothing. I do not approve of anything that tampers with natural ignorance. Ignorance is like a delicate exotic fruit; touch it and the bloom is gone. The whole theory of modern education is radically unsound. Fortunately in America, at any rate, education produces no effect whatsoever.
Occupation: Student
Industry: Entertainment
Message: message me
Member Since:
2/13/2005
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| So i've discovered this script and really like it, let's see how well it turns out on the webpage. Probably not that great.I'm at Dan's again, he's tiling the entry and I'm doing whatever. We're now unofficially engaged, it won't be official until I meet his parents which happens next weekend. EEK!! I'm so worried that they won't like me and that will change Dan's opinion of me and put an end to our impending marriage. My parents love Dan, they think he's the best thing I ever brought home, my sister and friends feel the same. But from what I get his parents are very conservative, his Dad's a pastor for pete sakes! Messianic Jews and conservative christians don't have a good track record, or atleast not from what I have found. Dan says that even if they hate me and say not to marry me it won't change anything, but I can't put my faith in that. I have to make them like me no matter what, it'll just make everything easier in the end. What can I do. There's so much I just know they won't approve of, my faith, my excentric tastes, my slighly materialistic side (I'm sorry but I just love Platinum antigue style engagement rings). Meanwhile they're the perfect reserved people who only spent 100 dollars on their wedding rings and never buy things they don't really need. Oye vey. I'm in trouble aren't I? | | |
| So, this set-up is different. I'm currently sitting at Dan's keyboard,
at his home typing at 10:20 at night. I've been staying the night here
almost every night that he is home, I might as well move in but i'm
hesitant. Sure he's my boyfriend since December, sure I love him (just
don't tell him that), and sure we're more than likely going to end up
together permanently, but that's not certain yet.
Once burnt twice as shy. I've moved out and lived with a fiancee
before, we were 2 days away from the altar, and had to move back, lived
with Katera and had to move back, my parents aren't taking me back for
a third time. If this doesn't work out where am I going to go?
No one in the situation seems to know and no one seems to want to
understand. It feels like they all think I'm being childish, and maybe
I am just projecting my feelings onto them, but I need someone to
listen to me and not judge or try to fix the situation.
I guess I'm just scared and need to be heard by no one, because I know
there's no one out there reading this tripe but me. What do I do? I
don't know if my fears are legitimate or just crippling me. Even I
think I'm being ridiculous but I can't seem to stop being terrified.
What if I'm wrong? What if I'm not? And is it right that I'm mostly
scared of losing him?
He pushes me, without even knowing it, and always for the better. I've
had more confrontations with G-d because of Dan that I've ever had of
all my years going to services. I'm being forced to reconcile alot of
issues I have to make this work, and I've had to expose the truth about
myself alot more than I'd ever like to. Maybe all of this difficulty is
my sign that it's safe to move on ahead, or maybe I'm just crazy. Who
knows. In the mean time, it was nice to get this off my chest.
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| Now singing duettino from Don Giovanni - "La ci darem la mano" with Corbit Wheller. He's a new friend and awesome pianist but new singer, and a little nervous. I'm really excited to be singing serious works and not the little pittly things they had me doing before- good grief I hate sing about flowers and tree's. I told Andy that I loved him. He said that he knew and really cared about me but couldn't say that yet. I told him that i never really expected him to. Which is true. But I think he really does love me and can't admit it. Mum and Dad are pains. And that's about it. | | |
| Hey guys. Well, not much to say, still trying to figure out where I'm going to live. Aaron seems to have given up on stalking me. I got an email from Joerg in Hamburg (a german guy I dated for a bit around Rosh Hashannah last year), and I haven't heard from him in a long time. I finally finished signing up for classes. And I lost my book on communism that I was reading just as it was getting good, it was 1977, the wall was getting close to falling in 12 years. That really sucked! That about it, just killing time before Andy calls to tell me that he's off of work and to come on over.
Oh yeah, and Andy's going to quit smoking!!!! G-d is great!!!! I hope it's truly permanent. Maybe there's a little hope for us after all.
And Elle, I miss you. | | |
| So, long time, no type. Well, I made the employee of the month for the region at work, i've been getting bothered at work by a quasi-stalker who hasn't gotten the hint eventhough I've told him that I'll never choose him over Andy and have told him that he reminds me of Sam. My parents have said that I have to be out by January. I'm still hopelessly in love with Andy, but see little hope for a serious future unless he quits smoking and finds faith. And I have a potential opportunity to get a paid position in a musical that has never been prefomed before. Also, I got offered a job at Herlberg Diamonds by the manager, Chris, and I'm not sure if I should fill out the application since it's all the way out in Lynnhaven. Eventhough he did offer higher pay, and a free parking pass, health insurance, and the opportunity to possibly become manager.
So as you can tell nothing big is really happening. Please pray that my lucky streak continues when school starts, and at work, that Andy gets the help he needs and well, just everything works out. I need all of the help I can get. | | |
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